Felesha Addresses Domestic Violence
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Reclaim Your Power In Toxic Environments
By Felesha Love
How many times have you heard people complain about the affect others have on the workplace environment? How many times have you, yourself felt hopelessness wash over you while secretly wishing for a magical solution?
Nothing will kill ambience faster than fear or a bad attitude. It doesn’t matter if you are seeking comfort in the privacy of your own home or at work; if the environment is filled with negative energy you can sense it. Several of my coaching clients complain that they are barely getting by on their jobs due to toxic work environments. I recognize these individuals as capable of brilliant contributions to their companies. However, they are missing opportunities to excel and have settled for a mentality to just hang on and go unnoticed.
Wait, before you judge. Many people choose passiveness as a way to coexist within environments where the fear of being misunderstood, unaccepted or devalued are prevalent. People shy away from unique self-expression and authenticity fearing the choice might cost them a job or relationship.
Fear is toxic and counterproductive. It stifles communication, productivity and creativity. The longer the discomfort exists the less tolerant individuals become. Irritation and discontent will spill over into work performance and company experience, especially for customer driven businesses. What if you, in fact, were to assume the responsibility of your environment? What if you were to take a brave leap to freedom and communicate your needs from a place of respect and love? If you were to open communication three things will happen.
- You will reclaim your power. When we internalize our power we become angry and depressed. However, learning to release the negativity in productive ways such as clear communication and exercise will in fact dispel toxicity and free you up to embrace a more positive attitude.
- You will create space to create the experiences you wish to have. Gossip, anger, blame, fear and disappointment have an energetic charge that permeates the work/home environment. Think about how you feel when you pick up a strenuous load. The load restricts you. Now think how relieved you feel when you put down the weight. You will experience freedom of mobility from the creation of new space. You will feel lighter and see positive opportunities easily.
- You will be free to be authentic. The freedom of fear allows you opportunity to create your legacy. Uninhibited by fear of being misunderstood, you will become authentic. Your authenticity is your legacy in life. This is how people will respond to you and remember you. Your legacy does not have to be perfect or grand, no one is. Simply represent your heart and sincere contribution and your environment will change. The effort will multiply in your favor and move you closer to more desired experiences. One note of warning, try not to dependent upon others to agree with you. They may not. If you desire to be liked and accepted at all cost you block authenticity.
Learn to become proactive about creating the environment that you desire by practicing interdependence. Social interdependence is pegged in both business and psychological circles as the “win, win” approach. Unfortunately, when we practice no interdependence someone gets lost and mistreated which perpetuates fear and discord.
The next time you feel as though you are “just getting by” let that be your clue to be more proactive and seek to support others as you hope to receive support. When you are free to be who you are magic happens. People will begin to see you for the first time and learn to value your greatness. The truth of the matter is that you are creating your legacy with every choice that you make. Why not create deliberately?
5 WAYS to FLIP MONEY WORRIES
By Felesha Love
When things go wrong in life, it sometimes seems as though we are watching a horror movie. The vivid pictures of hardships, violence and destruction can cause one to respond in three ways. 1. We take the “duck and cover” approach dodging issues by blaming and judging everyone in our path. 2. We take action and fight injustices for ourselves and others. 3. We become complacent with a noted sigh of relief that the occurrence did not affect us or those we care about. Our society is becoming immune to destruction and injustices not only locally but in our global community. The echoes of students across this country complain of alienation, loneness, and lack of motivation. Rape culture, campus shootings, sexuality pressures, depression and addictions of all kinds persist but to what end? The job market is not promised to graduates, leaving many underemployed or living at home much longer than anticipated, nursing a false sense of security. Over 4 million, single women heads of household are poorer than men working the same or similar position. The average income is less than $25,000 a year. Stress exacerbates health and well being. According to the American Psychological Association, women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders (Groh, 2007). Research shows that mortality rates for women with coronary heart disease appears to be directly related to socioeconomic status (Hemingway, 2007). Low energy levels, economic deprivation and reduced access to healthy food contribute to obesity for women (Jeffrey & French, 1996).
Isn’t it time to rethink our approach to wellness and quality of life? Generations are waiting in the balance for a shot at quality living. We have no time for the duck and cover approach in the way that our parents have taught us or for prolonged complacency. It is time for action. Believe it or not, I’m not going to tell you to write, call, email or complain to political officials, although in some cases it might help. I would like to draw your attention to the power you hold individually.
1. Assess your immediate environment. Notice how well you are coping with your current circumstances. The fastest way to organize your finances is to stop the bleeding. Identify your highest expense and strive to control it.
2. Acknowledge your efforts, as well as, those around you. Sometimes a verbal acknowledgement will go a long way for those in your household, neighbors or community members. Let someone know that you see them and offer encouragement or resources. The fastest way to give relief to one’s struggle is to let them know that you care.
3. Watch your self-talk. Oftentimes, we unknowingly perpetuate our pain by entertaining negativity and cynicism. Emotional pain is real, so why add anxiety with negative self talk.
4. It takes two to dance the Tango. If your socioeconomic status is not what you would like it to be. Create additional sources of income, take a course or learn a new trade. Create a way out. Difficulties in life, only have the power that you yourself give it.
5. Break the cycle of your unhappiness. You can choose to enhance your life with true desire and passion or complain about it. Sorry to tell you but even helplessness is a choice. Blaming another may provide you with explanation at the time but it is not the real issue. The real issue is that you feel disempowered.
1. You will reclaim your power. When we internalize our power we become angry and depressed. However, learning to release the negativity in productive ways such as clear communication and exercise will in fact dispel toxicity and free you up to embrace a more positive attitude.
2. You will create space to create the experiences you wish to have. Gossip, anger, blame, fear and disappointment have an energetic charge that permeates the work/home environment. Think about how you feel when you pick up a strenuous load. The load restricts you. Now think how relieved you feel when you put down the weight. You will experience freedom of mobility from the creation of new space. You will feel lighter and see positive opportunities easily.
3. You will be free to be authentic. The freedom of fear allows you opportunity to create your legacy. Uninhibited by fear of being misunderstood, you will become authentic. Your authenticity is your legacy in life. This is how people will respond to you and remember you. Your legacy does not have to be perfect or grand, no one is. Simply represent your heart and sincere contribution and your environment will change. The effort will multiply in your favor and move you closer to more desired experiences. One note of warning, try not to dependent upon others to agree with you. They may not. If you desire to be liked and accepted at all cost you block authenticity.
Learn to become proactive about creating the environment that you desire by practicing interdependence. Social interdependence is pegged in both business and psychological circles as the “win, win” approach. Unfortunately, when we practice no interdependence someone gets lost and mistreated which perpetuates fear and discord.
The next time you feel as though you are “just getting by” let that be your clue to be more proactive and seek to support others as you hope to receive support. When you are free to be who you are magic happens. People will begin to see you for the first time and learn to value your greatness. The truth of the matter is that you are creating your legacy with every choice that you make. Why not create deliberately?
Felesha Love is a wellness scholar and sculptor of mind and body, empowering people to transcend to personal best. She is an Author, Corporate Wellness Coach, Host of MySpiritFitness TV and The MySpiritFitness Wellness Moment syndicated radio show. Hay House Publishing released Felesha’s new book, A Brave Leap to Freedom: Integrating Mind, Body, and Spirit to Cultivate Healthy Relationships. In addition, she authored MySpiritFitness Self Portrait, MySpiritFitness Forgiveness Journal and Yoga Philosophy: Secrets Worth Revealing as a part of her empowerment series to promote professional and personal sustainability through mind, body, spirit education. Now available on Amazon and at www.MySpiritFitness.com